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Who even cares?

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drone [02 Jul 2008|12:03pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i feel like a drone. i wake up get ready for work come home go to sleep and the whole cycle starts over again. i'm tired of it. i don't even know who i am any more. i think i've lost myself. my brain is shutting down. my opinions are silenced. it is as if i don't have an opinion any more. it's as if i'm not me. what happened?

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eggshells [27 Apr 2007|10:09am]
[ mood | sad ]

Lately I’ve had a lot of time to think about my life. How I’ve changed, how I’ve become stronger, how I’ve become weaker, how I want to be. I notice that I think about others wants, desires, emotions, etc. before my own. Sometimes I feel as if I am walking on eggshells trying to offend or hurt people. I wish I could just say “fuck it” and express my true thoughts and emotions, but I still bite my tongue. Sometimes feel like the world is going to come crashing down upon me if I say what I want when I want. Even now, as I sit here writing, I’m crying because making one person happy made another upset. At work, I want to tell my boss that if I want to have the weekends off from now on I shouldn’t have to ask my coworkers if they are willing to switch with me. She should change the schedule and say that if they want to work then they have to work those hours. I’ve been there for three and a half years now, longer than anyone else in that place. I don’t think that it is fair that I work every single weekend. I’ve missed out on weddings, baby showers, my niece’s and nephew’s birthday parties, etc. Working on the weekends was fine for a while, but not for over three years. It is now affecting my family life, my social life, my romantic life, and my schooling. The other day I found out that my uncle might have cancer again. The doctors found a lesion somewhere near his lungs and heart. That same day I found out that my mom has the early stages of emphysema. When she told me that all I wanted to say was, “I told you so,” but I knew that wouldn’t make the situation any better. She hasn’t had a cigarette for three days now, and I’m proud of her for that. But in the back of my mind I wonder how long will she kick the habit for this time. A week? A month? A year? I already feel like I’m walking on eggshells with my mom and I know that it is just going get harder the next couple of weeks while she tries to kick her addiction. Even after writing this, I’m still thinking about how I can make everyone else happy.

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no place for you [24 May 2006|11:56am]
[ mood | bored ]

i used to be in love with you, and now i can't stand that i still have a place in my heart for you.

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what do i want? [18 Nov 2005|09:44pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

i'm so confused...life, school, love, friendships, people, just everything confuses me so much right now. i'm not sure what to think any more...i'm not even sure what i want any more...

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broken hearts [24 Oct 2005|09:18am]
i really don't know how much more my heart can take...
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how ironic... [04 Oct 2005|09:28pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Brief Daily Pisces Forecast:

A friend's debt is long overdue. Find a way to get what is owed to you.

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some people are so ignorant... [19 Sep 2005|12:43pm]
12 Reasons:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

I found this on http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/gaymarriage.html
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pointless entry [31 Aug 2005|07:00pm]
What makes you beautiful by xo_lil_bia_ox
Eye color
Hair color
What makes you beautifulYour eyes bring love to the world
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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Wahoo! [12 Aug 2005|10:09pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I'm so happy right now! I didn't think that I would be getting financial aid this year, but I was wrong. I just found out a few minutes ago that I will be getting financial aid this year. Score! I feel so much better now...that just took a big load off my shoulders.

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Bitter sweet life... [08 Aug 2005|12:16pm]
[ mood | jealous ]

If this doesn’t make any sense to you don’t worry…I am just writing what comes into my mind…therefore it may only make sense to me.

I hate when I'm all happy one minute...then something little and insignificant happens and then I get all depressed and emo. It drives me crazy. Life is so hard and (for me at least) it seems to be getting harder and harder with each passing week. True love and happiness are two incredibly hard things to come by. Once you find them, you never want to let go. Forest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gunna get.” I think that is a very true statement. Something can look so perfect and sugary sweet on the outside, but once you take a bite, it could be the most awful bitter taste you could ever imagine. The bitterness lingers one your taste buds for what seems like eternity (when in reality it may only linger for a few minutes/ hours etc.). We as people taste the bitterness of life every day. In some moments you will find the perfect chocolate that melts in your mouth and gives you the sweet sensation of happiness. It is those moments we have to learn to live in, rather then get caught up in the bitterness of life.

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jury duty notice yet again [11 Jul 2005|09:30am]
man oh man, i can't believe that they sent me another jury juty notice so soon....grrr. just hope that i don't get picked...cuz that would suck.
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summer school [13 Jun 2005|01:41pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I started summer school today. It wasn't that bad, and my teacher seems to be really nice. He likes to joke around and keep us interested. At least I won't completely dread going to class every day. Well, that is about all I have to say. Time for work!

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my grades [04 Jun 2005|09:36am]
[ mood | calm ]

Well, I finally know my grades from this semester...

Spanish II: A
English 110: A
English 112: A

I am so proud of myself!

Only one more week left until summer classes...bleh. I need more time! I just hope I get a decent grade in that class, I had to drop it once cuz I couldn't hack it...what makes me think I'll be able to understand it in 6 weeks? My goodness what have I gotten myself into?

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I asked for the day off 2-3 weeks in advance...this is BS! [13 May 2005|08:31pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I am glad that I only have two more weeks until the semester is over...but the bad thing is, is that I still have tons of homework. No fun! I asked my boss for a Sunday off a few weeks back so I could use it to study for finals and get my shit together...so he calls me up the other day asking if I still need the day off. I was thinking well I asked for it ahead of time didn't I....so he ended up giving me half of the day off...but he gave me a shift right in the middle of the day...from 2-6. Wtf kind of deal is that? So, once I sart getting into it I have to go to work then after work I won't be able to do shit cuz I'll be too tired...I'm just a little pissed off right now. Whatever, I'll just stress out this week...man I'm pissed.

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[07 May 2005|09:35am]
So the semester is finally coming to an end...that sounds so nice. That doesn't mean that the homework is slowing down though. I think I seem to be getting more, which totaly sucks. At least I only have about two or three more weeks left until school is over...well then I'm going to summer school so it's not really over. Bleh, I hope I can keep up because it is at fast speed during the summer. Ack, no bueno. Well, it is time to go to work...good times.
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Jury Duty [02 May 2005|02:25pm]
So I recived a jury duty notice in the mail Sat. for May 26th which is the day of one of my finals...no good. I need to call them and figure out a way to get out of it because there is no way I can miss a final.
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bored [20 Apr 2005|09:45am]
[ mood | content ]

i am super bored right now...i can't study for my spanish midterm because it is an oral and i have no idea what questions the teacher is going to ask. i just hope that i don't freeze up and forget what i know, that would totally blow!

random story: the other day i was about to put on one of my tennis shoes and right as i was going to put my foot i noticed a little dried up tird roll from the tip of my shoe to the heal...thank you ginger (my dog) for leaving me a present in my freaking shoes.
~the end~

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[12 Apr 2005|01:06pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I haven't really been motivated to write lately. Nothing great or exciting has occurred in my life. Spring break was okay...nothing worth writing about though.

The other day one of my customers asked me, "Are you a man?" I looked at him and was like "NO" and then he said "Then how come you don't have breasts?" Now what kind of person says that to someone? I mean come on how much ruder can a person be?

I tried asking about five different people to go with me tonight go see my friend Kimmie sing. All five of them said they were busy. Man am I that lame that no one wants to hang out with me or something?

I went to the movies with my sister last Friday. We haven't been out together (just her and me) for the longest time. We saw Fever Pitch, it was a very funny movie...just what we needed.

Oh, I'm starting to get "driver's arm" or at least that is what I call it. It is when one arm is darker then the other because when you are driving the sun hits it...while the other one is just chillin in the shade.

So, enough of my pointless entry...time to get to my homework before I go see Kimmie sing her little heart out.

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Which Victoria's Secret Angle are you? [22 Mar 2005|12:19am]
Take the quiz: "Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?"

Gisele Bundchen
You are nice, trendy, and love to have fun!
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[12 Mar 2005|10:25pm]
[ mood | tired ]






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